INSIGHT	How To Raise Children
Family members should be allies, not adversaries

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it Proverb 22:6

“Spare the rod and spoil a child” may be most famous of the Bible’s proverb. Proverb calls punishment a form of love and says that parents who won’t discipline their children are in danger of ruining them (Proverb 29:25). But that much-quoted maxim is only a small part of what proverbs have to offer on the subject of bringing up children.

The overwhelming emphasis of proverbs is on verbal encouragement and teaching. The whole book is framed as a father’s words to his son, teaching him those “facts of life” that have nothing to do with biology. Again and again he pleads, “Listen, my son.” Mother has equally important words (1:8 - My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 6:20 - My son, keep your father's command, And do not forsake the law of your mother.) The parent-child conversation is a, and Proverb 17:6 bears out what the whole book implies: [arents and children are meant to be adversaries, but allies in life WHO ARE PROUD OF EACH OTHER.

Proverbs on Parent-Child Relationships:

3:11, 12: My child,²⁹ do not despise discipline from the Lord,³⁰ and do not loathe³¹ his rebuke. For the Lord disciplines³² those he loves, just as a father³³ disciplines³⁴ the son in whom he delights.

10:1, 5: The Proverbs of Solomon: A wise child¹ makes a father rejoice,² but a foolish child³ is a grief to his mother.⁴ The one who gathers crops¹⁶ in the summer is a wise¹⁷ son, but the one who sleeps¹⁸ during the harvest is a son who brings shame to himself.¹⁹

13:1, 24: A wise son accepts¹ his father's discipline,² but a scoffer³ does not listen to rebuke. The one who spares his rod⁸¹ hates⁸² his child,⁸³ but the one who loves his child⁸⁴ is diligent⁸⁵ in disciplining⁸⁶ him.

14:26: In the fear of the Lord one has⁶⁸ strong confidence,⁶⁹ and it will be a refuge⁷⁰ for his children.

15:20: A wise child⁵⁶ brings joy to his father, but a foolish person⁵⁷ despises⁵⁸ his mother.

17:6, 21: Grandchildren²⁰ are like²¹ a crown²² to the elderly, and the glory²³ of children is their parents.²⁴ Whoever brings a fool⁷¹ into the world⁷² does so⁷³ to his grief, and the father of a fool has no joy.⁷⁴

19:18, 26, 27: Discipline your child while⁵⁷ there is hope, but do not set your heart⁵⁸ on causing his death.⁵⁹ The one who robs⁸³ his father⁸⁴ and drives out his mother is a son⁸⁵ who brings shame and disgrace. If you stop listening to⁸⁶ instruction, my child, you will stray⁸⁷ from the words of knowledge

20:20: The one who curses⁶¹ his father and his mother, his lamp⁶² will be put out in the blackest⁶³ darkness.

22:6, 15: Train¹⁴ a child¹⁵ in the way that he should go,¹⁶ and when he is old he will not turn from it.¹⁷ Folly is bound up³⁹ in the heart of a child,⁴⁰ but the rod of discipline⁴¹ will drive it far from him.

23:13 – 16: Do not withhold discipline from a child; even if you strike him with the rod, he will not die. If you strike²³ him with the rod, you will deliver his life²⁴ from death.²⁵ My child,²⁶ if your heart is wise, then my heart also will be glad;

23:22 – 25: Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Acquire³⁸ truth and do not sell it — wisdom, and discipline, and understanding. The father of a righteous person will rejoice greatly; ³⁹ whoever fathers a wise child⁴⁰ will have joy in him. May your father and your mother have joy; may she who bore you rejoice.⁴¹

27:11: Be wise, my child,²³ and make my heart glad, so that I may answer²⁴ anyone who taunts me.²⁵

29:15 – 17: A rod and reproof⁴⁷ imparts⁴⁸ wisdom, but a child who is unrestrained⁴⁹ brings shame⁵⁰ to his mother.⁵¹ Discipline your child, and he will give you rest;⁵⁴ he will give pleasure⁵⁵ to you.⁵⁶

31:28: Her children rise up⁶⁷ and call her blessed, her husband⁶⁸ also praises her:

(Ref.: from NET Bible)

Life Questions: What is more effective in raising children: Punishment & Discipline OR Verbal Instruction & Encouragements?